I Promise' 'Liar'
by xXxjohnlockxXx
Summary: First fic! - "'Promise me you won't do anything stupid while I'm at work, Sherlock.' 'I promise, John.' You promised Sherlock!" "Stupid? Me? Don't be ridiculous. I never do anything stupid." - Conversation fic - marked as complete but might change later


"'Promise me you won't do anything stupid while I'm at work, Sherlock.' 'I promise, John.' You promised Sherlock!"

"Stupid? Me? Don't be ridiculous. I never do anything stupid."

"Oh of course not. How could I think that? I mean it's not like you had set your eyebrows on fire the other day. On purpose no less."

"All in the name of science, John."

"Or that you decided to see how long it would take you to faint from blood loss. You could have warned me about that one."

"All in the name of science, John."

"Oh for Christ's sakes, Sherlock. You got us kidnapped by Chinese smugglers and then when we were almost home free, you got us locked in a closet! Don't tell me this was all in the name of science, because I swear to god I will ban all experiments from the flat for a month!"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"I most certainly would! Now tell me why you got us locked in here."

"…"

"Sherlock, if you don't tell me, I'll assume the worst and make the ban two months."

_*mumble*_

"I can't hear you."

_*mumble*_

"I still can't hear you."

"They had snipers, John! And all of them were pointed at you. I had to do SOMETHING! Did you hear me that time?!"

"…"

"Say something, John."

"Sherlock … That's ... so sweet."

"Oh don't be ridiculous. I got us locked in a closet, remember?"

"We'll live, Sherlock. Thanks to you. Now, however, you can't call yourself a sociopath."

"Yeah, well, - What? No! Of course I can! I am a highly functioning sociopath. There is no way around it. "

_*Mutter* "For a genius, you're an idiot."_

"John?"

"…"

"John? What are you planning?"

"What? Nothing! Nothing at all. Why would you think I was planning something?"

"…"

"Right stupid question."

"…"

"…"

"Sherlock, it's been half an hour. Let's just go."

"Snipers, John! Don't forget about the snipers!"

"Ok well how about this. If they try and shoot at me, I'll just use you as a shield."

"You're kidding."

"Of course. They'd never manage to shoot us with your ego in the way."

"Oi."

"Gotcha. Now lets go home. I need a cuppa tea."

"Again?"

"I'm British, Sherlock. It's how we cope."

"Right. It sounds like there are two guards waiting at the exit. Ready?"

"Yes. Hurry up already."

"Remember, stealth is key. On three. One. Two…"

"THREE!"

"John! You imbecile!"

"…"

"…"

-221b Baker Street-

*John and Sherlock sitting in respective chairs*

"…"

"Oh for Christ sake Sherlock!"

"I'm not talking to you."

"Well why not?"

"Because you tried to kill yourself."

"No. I tried to get you home in one piece. Please don't have a strop."

"I don't' know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do and you're doing it now!"

"John!"

"Sherlock!"

"Don't mock me."

"Why not? You do it to me all the time."

"So don't do it to me!"

"What, you can do things to me and I can't do things to you?"

"Yes!"

*giggle*

"John! Don't laugh this is serious!"

"I apologize, Sherlock" *giggle.* "Most sincerely" *laugh*. "But there's nothing I can do."

"Liar." *giggle.*

"Ah-ha!" *smirk*

"Shut up, John. You're dripping on the carpet."

"Yeah well if you had just let us taken a taxi home, I wouldn't be soaked to the bone."

"But John! The ta-"

"OUCH!"

"John? What is it? What's wrong?"

"Something's wrong with my shoulder. Help me get my coat off, would you?"

"…"

"Ow! Sherlock I said my shoulder hurts! That means 'be careful' not 'please yank on my injured arm.'"

"…"

"Sherlock?"

"I told you that they had snipers. Why didn't you listen to me?"

"What? Let me see."

"Come off it Sherlock. It's merely a flesh wound. I'll be fine. Just let me put a plaster over it."

"No it's not fine! It's not fine John! I'm supposed to keep you safe! I can't do that if you keep getting shot. I just can't."

"Very well then."

"John?"

"If I can't get hurt then neither can you."

"John? What are you talking about?"

"No more experiments with materials that have explosive, corrosive or fatal properties-"

"What? No! John don't be ridiculous."

"AND! No more cases that involve you chasing after suspects."

"What?! You can't do this to me!"

"I bloody well can Sherlock! And you know it!"

"John! Don't do this to me! This is insane."

"If I can't get hurt than neither can you."

"…"

"Sherlock?"

"Fine. Disregard my earlier statement then."

"With pleasure. Where have you put the plasters?"

"With the Erlyn-Meyer flasks. On top of the cupboards containing the arsenic and clostridium botulinum."

"…"

"What?"

"Isn't what Moriarty used to kill Carl Powers?"

"Yes."

"…"

"What?"

"Gross."

"Don't be so pedestrian."

"Forgive me, my insolence Sherlock."

"Make me tea and I just might."

"As your Majesty wishes."

"Thank you, Jester."

"Oi!"

"What?"

"If anyone's the Jester, it's you."

"Why would it be me?"

"Because you're an idiot."

"But I'm a genius."

"And certifiable as well as being a 'High-functioning sociopath.'"

"Details. Irrelevant."

"Sherlock!"

"What?"

"Why do I even bother?"

"I don't know. Are you done with the tea yet?"

"Yeah yeah. Don't get you're panties in a twist."

"I'll have you know I only wear boxers."

"… Sherlock …"

"… John …"

"Just ignore it. It's a saying. Here's you're tea."

"What, really?"

"Yes really. Drink that."

"Of all things why would they make that into a saying?"

"I don't know Sherlock. Just delete it."

"Why should I?"

"Doctor's orders."

"And nobody crosses their doctor. Am I right?"

"Always."

"Glad to know some things never change."

"Could you be any more conceited?"

"Of course I can. Don't be idiotic."

"Oh for – Never mind. I'm going to bed."

"John."

"Yes, Sherlock?"

"Thank you. What you did back there … what you offered to do … that was …"

"Good?"

"Yes, John. That was good."

"You're welcome Sherlock. I'll gladly do it again."

"Don't."

"Why not?"

"I don't want you dying for me."

"I'll see what I can do. Goodnight Sherlock."

"Goodnight John."


End file.
